Osama Moves To The Center

Appealing to moderate swing voters in battleground states Osama Bin Laden today broadened his party's message to include as many citizens as possible. Having secured his base with the more partisan, "we will kill the infidel pigs" rhetoric Bin Laden felt confident that he could modulate the message without alienating his personal horsemen of the apocalypse.

Saying, "if only Bush had been more alert less people would've been killed" Bin Laden took a swipe at his opponent. Of course, if only he hadn't orchestrated the whole thing no one would've been killed, but none of the candidates have yet siezed upon this line of attack.

Before returning to his concubine filled hot tub Bin Laden appeared to tacitly endorse John Kerry some Bushies have said, apparently not realizing that uhh... he is the sworn enemy of all Americans and will say and do anything to destroy the U.S. and A. Typically, the moron-filled, reactionary right took the bait and amplified Bin Laden's psy-op on all Americans.

By the way... can you believe he is not only alive, and at-large but apparently in comfortable surroundings? Whatever happened to Wanted - Dead or Alive?