The News Deluge
-One Hour Ago-
U.S. geologists reported today that the window for a significant eruption of Mt. St. Helens has passed. An audible sigh of dissapointment could be heard throughout the newsrooms of the cable news networks after word of the report became known. Immediately following the announcement the presidents of each network's news divisions spoke in a conference call.
Though an actual transcript of the call was not made available as of press time high ranking officials say that the principals were largely in agreement and pledged to redouble their efforts to seek out a meaningless diversion and bring it to the forefront. Following the successful summit a clear consensus emerged that either a catastrophic natural disaster, republican smear campaign, or a celebrity trial was necessary in order to keep from having to serve the public interests as the FCC mandate clearly requires.
Well placed sources pointed to recent intelligence reports which indicated that Americans actually don't care about the Scott Peterson case anymore and might even understand more complex issues. However, it has long been the conventional wisdom that most people aren't even reading this paragraph. One opposition group's website even suggested, "that is why major news organizations use this terse journo-botic writing style. It conveys an intense, credible, no nonsense feeling to the consumer that what they are reading must be right." After all, if high ranking officials and well placed sources say something, and I'm reading it here, it must be true. Furthermore, news organizations can point to stories like this as evidence of their commitment to "real news."
These overly long articles overwhelm the reader with facts and quotes, making it extremely difficult for the average person to form their own opinion. Thus, the door is left open for the pundits to spin the issue and influence public opinion to suit the needs of the establishment. Thereby a figurative moat is dug around the castle. If any of the serfs somehow realize that the system is corrupt and try to mount a challenge they are simply thrown into the moat of insufficient patriotism, their protests drowned out by a cacaphony of pig squealing.
U.S. geologists reported today that the window for a significant eruption of Mt. St. Helens has passed. An audible sigh of dissapointment could be heard throughout the newsrooms of the cable news networks after word of the report became known. Immediately following the announcement the presidents of each network's news divisions spoke in a conference call.
Though an actual transcript of the call was not made available as of press time high ranking officials say that the principals were largely in agreement and pledged to redouble their efforts to seek out a meaningless diversion and bring it to the forefront. Following the successful summit a clear consensus emerged that either a catastrophic natural disaster, republican smear campaign, or a celebrity trial was necessary in order to keep from having to serve the public interests as the FCC mandate clearly requires.
Well placed sources pointed to recent intelligence reports which indicated that Americans actually don't care about the Scott Peterson case anymore and might even understand more complex issues. However, it has long been the conventional wisdom that most people aren't even reading this paragraph. One opposition group's website even suggested, "that is why major news organizations use this terse journo-botic writing style. It conveys an intense, credible, no nonsense feeling to the consumer that what they are reading must be right." After all, if high ranking officials and well placed sources say something, and I'm reading it here, it must be true. Furthermore, news organizations can point to stories like this as evidence of their commitment to "real news."
These overly long articles overwhelm the reader with facts and quotes, making it extremely difficult for the average person to form their own opinion. Thus, the door is left open for the pundits to spin the issue and influence public opinion to suit the needs of the establishment. Thereby a figurative moat is dug around the castle. If any of the serfs somehow realize that the system is corrupt and try to mount a challenge they are simply thrown into the moat of insufficient patriotism, their protests drowned out by a cacaphony of pig squealing.
posted by El Bozo at 3:06 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home