Bored Shitless
I trudged out the door to day in the snow and ice to clean off my car and head out the door to a job. Luckily, my car wouldn't start so I got a "snow day." A person who I happen to know who shall remain nameless also happens to be in the vicinity with a brick (and I mean a fucking brick) of Humboldt Co. hash. So I think what I'll do instead of work is smoke some hash, drink some hot-buttered rum, and play video games.
I went on one of those online dating things. What a disaster. I have been hounded by the fattest, ugliest, most undesirable creatures you could possibly imagine. It's really insulting, I'm like, "I'm outta your league bitch what are you thinking?" I even was contacted by a midget. I swear to god. Her face looks exactly like a pug. I wasn't really paying attention when I was filling the thing out so I blew right through the height specifications part and left as "anyone form 3'0 to 8'11". I guess she figured she was in there. How low can I go?
I went on one of those online dating things. What a disaster. I have been hounded by the fattest, ugliest, most undesirable creatures you could possibly imagine. It's really insulting, I'm like, "I'm outta your league bitch what are you thinking?" I even was contacted by a midget. I swear to god. Her face looks exactly like a pug. I wasn't really paying attention when I was filling the thing out so I blew right through the height specifications part and left as "anyone form 3'0 to 8'11". I guess she figured she was in there. How low can I go?
posted by El Bozo at 12:19 PM
2 Comments:
Somehow you always make getting drunk sound so mature i.e. "nipping at a boutique whiskey on the rocks" and "drinking hot-buttered rum."
Whenever I describe the act, on the other hand, the ever-intelligent "I'm getting wasted" always seems to slip out of my mouth.
I really need to start learning how to drink like a gentleman.
G.
Midgets rule! So do ninjas and zombies!
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