Madonna

I was thinking about Madonna, America's Whore, the other day. Has she crossed into "isht-don't-think-so" territory or what? "Oh look honey, it's a little black monkey, let's take him home and train him."

Memo to Madonna, this isn't "The Legend of Greystoke," you can't buy other peoples kids like they're cute little puppies, and you're not some all knowing, all compassionate maternal deity, you're a careerist bitch.

So go back to your fake English accent, your Nazi-like Pilates regimen, and your henpecked little husband.

Greatest Lyric Ever Written Contest!!

My submission: "Let me forget about today until tomorrow." - Bob Dylan (from Mr. Tambourine Man)

Oh Well...

There was another school shooting. Though this time nobody died so who cares? Of course a Republican has already proposed that the solution to this latest teenage craze lies in arming teachers. Of course! What a brilliant and obvious solution.

By following that logic I can theoretically solve almost all our sociological "challenges" right now.

Ex. 1: A particular neighborhood has a longstanding problem of cocaine traffic and abuse. Simply flood that neighborhood with heroin and, as Tom Friedman likes to say, "Presto!" No more cocaine problem.

Ex. 2: Make a bet with a compulsive gambler that he can't go five days without gambling.

Ex. 3: Put a pedophile in charge of the caucus on Missing and Exploited children. (oh wait they already did that). Extra credit to anyone who knows what a caucus is.

Ex. 4: Put the ex-Governor of NJ in charge of the EPA. (I'm absolutely positive Karl Rove was laughing his ass off when they picked Christie Whitman.)

and so on...

Personally, I'd be mighty worried about some of my old teachers having access to firearms.

Ex. 1: "Suck my dick or I'll shoot you."

Wait, I've got it. The new superhero. The Armed Pedophile Teacher.

and so on...

Greetings

Hello all, just thought I'd stop by and drop a line in between school shootings. If I was ever a congressional page there'd probably be a lot more legislating going on because Mark Foley would be so disappointed with my measurements. I also hate instant messaging.