The White Man

You all know him. Perhaps even, you are one of them. But you are not him. He is a dumbass. He dances like a retard, dry fucking his equally retarded drunk girlfriend while the artist is performing. He drops his beer and doesn't give a shit that it splashes all over you. He wears his hat backwards. He just looks like a fucking moron. He takes many forms, but all of them are annoying. You wish you could get away from him. You wish other people would not identify you with him. But they do. He's like a shadow. Wherever you go, sooner or later you run into him. Sometimes he doesn't even speak english. Those guys are even worse. When you get a haircut you feel almost like him. It sucks. When you wear your hat backwards you must wear an obnoxious T-shirt to show everyone that you're not really him. But that only makes you more like him. Even though really, you couldn't be more estranged. Goddamn him.