George Carlin In Rehab
Interestingly, I just started reading his new book, "When will Jesus Bring The Porkchops?" last night. I thought to myself as I read it that if I were to take all of my blog posts and compile them in a book, it would be very similar in format -if not as funny.
Today I found out he's going into rehab for alcohol and Vicodin. Hmmm. Not that I have any personal experience with this but I bet he wrote most of his rants while sitting at the computer high on wine and vicodin.
It's not exactly Charlie Parker and heroin or Bob Marley and weed but something about the combination of alcohol and painkillers lets the attitude flow from the chip on the shoulder to the tips of the fingers with just a little more style.
IN OTHER NEWS
CNN thinks it's a real news organization with this Tsunami shit. Watching Tucker Carleson trying to be serious and compassionate instead of a smirking, elitist cock was laughable.
Then they brought out the heavy hitter - Sam Champion. Remember the GAY weatherman on Channel 7? Apparently he's an expert on underwater seismic events as well as ben-wa balls.
I prefer Fox News' lead on this story: WE DON'T CARE. At least they're honest.
POOR PEYTON
Had a little competition in the news dept. on his big day. Apparently Jesus has been bringing Reggie White the pork chops for a long time. So much so that it killed him.
posted by El Bozo at 1:42 AM
1 Comments:
2 things:
1. Willow's blowee's last name was Galagher.
B. Reggie White's death reminded me of the bit on SNL where Tracy Morgan does Reggie What after he made all those anti-gay comments. Here's the transcript. It's pretty funny:
Oh my god. Last week, Green Bay Packers defensive end Reggie White delivered an hour long speech to the Wisconsin state assembly, in which he made sweeping and shocking generalizations about different races. Here to explain his controversial remarks is Reggie White.
Reggie White: Thank you, Colin. Thank you. Thank you for this opportunity to clear my name. I feel nothing but regret about what took place in Wisconsin.
Colin Quinn: So, you're sorry about your speech?
Reggie White: Absolutely, Colin. I'm as upset as anybody about what happened. For instance, I never even got a chance to talk about Samoans. Dirty, filthy, stupid Samoans.
Colin Quinn: Reggie, uh, please that's really offensive.
Reggie White: Oh, no, don't get me wrong. I hate Samoans.
Colin Quinn: Right. That's what I thought you meant.
Reggie White: Oh, good. I'm a little worried about being misunderstood, you know? Which is why I also want to be extra clear about my feelings of hatred towards midgets.
Colin Quinn: All right, I think that's enough.
Reggie White: Good question, Colin. I like that. Good question. Good question..... The bible does in fact condemn midgetry. I believe it was Jesus or God, who said, and I quote "thou shall not midget thy self." Hey Colin, you ever seen a midget in a suit? That is nasty. Nasty. I digress, man. The point is, every race and ethnic group has something unique to offer. For instance, midgets are good at being hated. Or take the gypsies. They good at being filthy, and lying and stealing things. Stole my hubcaps last week. You see what I mean?
Colin Quinn: No, I really don't, actually.
Reggie White: Gypsies and midgets, man. Gypsies and midgets. And you know what's even worse then that, them plain midgets? Is those really tall midgets you see walking around.
Colin Quinn: You mean...people?
Reggie White: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes. Yes indeed. Yes indeed. Without a doubt, I hate them. I hate them. And that's really - and that's really what I'm trying to say here.
Colin Quinn: Right. Reggie White everybody.
Reggie White: Thanks for the support, Colin. I'll get you some tickets, come on down to the game.
Colin Quinn: I'm Colin Quinn, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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