U.S. To Israel: "When You're Done Killing Everyone, You Should Probably Stop."

Condi Rice is traveling to set up a "buffer zone" consisting of rubble that used to be southern Beirut. I saw a picture of her and El Presidente at a ballgame the other day. Was that a date? Has she been to his buffer zone too? Could she possibly respect such a fucking idiot?

This week's G8 summit has been a one-after-another of great (as in bad) Bush moments. First he got smacked down by his former lover, Vladimir Putin, then I kept hearing about how much he liked actually driving the golf cart (look it's something I can do! It's something I can do!). Then he was caught off script basically treating Tony Blair like a waiter at the country club. Then he tried to give the German Chancellor (a woman) a shoulder massage and she recoiled like it was her drunk uncle. And then... oh forget it.

I predict that by the end of it all Bush will be caught jacking off to Bumfights in the oval office. After wiping himself off with an American flag he will then present that flag to Donald Rumsfeld at his medal of freedom ceremony. Rumsfeld will then blow his nose in it and then offer it to Dick Cheney saying, "Hey Big Dick, you want this piece of shit?" After accepting, Big Dick will proceed to get so drunk he shits himself and has to wipe his ass with the flag. Then as a gesture of goodwill from the executive branch to the judicial branch he will present the flag to Antonin Scalia who will fold it into a decorative handkerchief and wear it proudly to the last State of the Union speech. (Where Bush will get a 20 minute standing ovation).

And bye the way, I was actually belting out the final chorus of "And so we've come, to the END OF THE ROAD," in that last picture.

Back To The Future...

I recieved this picture via email from Miss Debra Kotkin at about 1am this morning. Is it just me or do we look like we're about to bust into some doo-wop song or something?

Greg MacDonald's Take On Mr. White:

"i'm pro-white."

The preceeding statement was taken verbatim, including punctuation and capitalization, from an email sent by our far flung correspondent in Huatulco, Mexico. It represents a distant perspective on the recently re-ignited controversy surrounding our former principal.

Adios Jose

I have some important news: the Jose Lima fan club has officialy disbanded. In addition he has not only been demoted to the class AAA Norfolk Mets affiliate, but he has actually been deported back to his native country. This extraordinary rendition was necessary due to him sucking extremely badly and reminding me of the bad old days of the Mets.

I wonder who all the 25 million Mexicans who live here voted for in their version of Florida. Note-to-self: you will now have to leave the continent if you wish to escape neo-Fascism. From the Yukon to Guatemala we've now got right wing, pro-business government. We're nothing but serfs paying mandatory $$tribute$$ to our corporate barons and lords. The digital Maximilien Robespierre that we all pray for exists only in the movies. (and it isn't Johnny fucking Depp). By the way, do you think that's his real name?

I watched "Funky Monks" last night. It was da' BOMB! If you don't know ya' better ask somebody.

Dear Mexico,

Welcome to the 21st century, where democracy is just a warm, fuzzy, memory. Let's face it, that form of government is obsolete. Then again, you already knew that because half of you are already here.

(I wrote this awhile ago but forgot to publish it I guess)